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Starting Over

Life makes promises to you to provide difficulty.

If nothing else, life gives you experiences of strain and frustration. In those moments are mirrors to share the resolve of moving on to your next starting over position. 

Who has had an easy life? I don’t know; but maybe someone has. I like to think that my life is easy but it always shows up and says, “Here, solve this riddle.” 

Seriously, it’s like some puzzle that I have to put together after recognizing the pieces. That might be the most strenuous part of this life experience. 

I recently chose to explain to a group the way that I am as a teaching guide. For example, I share the answers, I ask the questions, then I await the application. Seems simple, right? Well most people fault the fact that their answer is different from the information that I provided them to learn. Life Lessons! Well, that’s what you would expect from life; to learn a series of lessons and then apply them. 

No matter what you are doing, where you are located and what you have; difficulty is the teacher that says, “I got you.” The other day while driving and listening to a podcast, the host said, “you are not in control of your life.” and oh how true is that. 

Life has you. This person’s example was the fact that so many people leave their homes and some don’t even return back to their door due to what happens while they are out living life; which are things out of their control. 

Life is in control of all things and living is being in the present moment. Nothing is more important than what is active with you currently. Allow your being to be in those current moments of flow. 

Lately, I have found myself in a battle to stay, when life has clearly said to go. 

We have to take these lessons from each moment and apply them in the moment using intuition. Starting over is that part of you that says, you can do this! No matter how much it hurts or scars, it can be done with the willingness that is your capacity. 

Again, the only promise that life is giving you is the promise of time being spent in difficulty. Still it is your choice on how to task this. I chose to keep up, smiling, praying, cleaning and moving on with openness for the next opportunity to handle what I actually want to be here. 

Now that I am thinking about it, starting over is more simple than was taught. What’s hard for me is standing in a position to continue to be hurt over and over again. Many people, I have heard say that pain stings. Right now the pain that I have been experiencing over the past few years have made me go numb; but only for just a moment. I am someone who enjoys feeling the qualms of life, so that excites me. 

It is true that what you focus on becomes a reality. One of my greatest fears was realized and not to say it altered my view but even I was shocked, but I no longer have to fear that thing anymore. 

I don’t look to my next fear. Instead, I will enjoy what this time is without question. One thing I have found to be is that God addresses fears and questions. Ask a question, then you will most definitely receive an answer. 

Personally, I am learning to ask less questions and embrace faced fears. All of that by starting over every chance that I get, because I can and it is required. 

Starting over requires recognition from each start. Being able to see where you are physically, then moving inward to catch whatever is not necessary in order for it to be cleared away. Usually when those things are done my emotions begin to settle in and I can float there for a while in my thoughts and expressions. I absolutely do not express myself until things have settled because before then I will only just be reacting to stimuli.

Practicing this constantly and consistently is exactly why I can sit and type this article in the midst of life being knocked over for me once again. I am able to think, express, feel and continue on with starting over from the chaos. Reevaluating and moving into the acceptance of what this is, with my final peace being to embrace it. 

I can not calculate when I will be able to embrace not being where I thought I wanted to be but the actuality of it is that I have to. The beauty of it is that there is no average time frame for doing so. I can be numb as long as I want. I can dismiss it as long as I want. I can think about it as long as I want to; but in all honesty, I’m standing in this and recognizing that this is an answer to a question that I have had for so long. 

Taking that and continuing on for what is next. The only difference this time is that it will not take me long to start over, because that’s whyat life is. Life is the process of starting over time after time and that’s what I am choosing. 

Until next time, Stay Happy. Stay Healthy. Stay Healing. 

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